Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a laundered mopping pad, lying forgotten on the floor,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of someone gently rapping, at the ES closet door.
And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each bedside curtain
Thrilled me — filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating,
"'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at the ES closet door.”
Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped an ES worker, of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
Standing ‘side a pile of laundry, just outside my closet door,
Much I marveled this ungainly worker’s toil discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning, little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Should be cursed with eyes left seeing dirty mops piled high outside the door,
For mops used o’er and o’er again, must surely spread foul pathogens and keep
HCAPHS scores far from ten when used repeatedly upon the floor.
But fear thee not cried out the nurse, who boldly reached inside her purse, and pulled a sample given her the night before.
Pure white and printed, ‘twas newly minted, the name PREMIRA this new pad proudly bore.
She dropped it spritely, and used it rightly, just one per room and done, no, nothing more.
Alas I stuttered, the nurse she uttered, PREMIRA is our answer for the floors.
We shant relaunder, horde nor wander, seeking dirty pads from 8 ‘til 4.
Cross-contamination, such abomination and quat binding, argh, what a burdensome chore.
We must disclose it, so everyone knows it, our laundering days must cease forever more.
And so the laundry, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid dusty hallways just outside the closet door;
And my eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming.
And fluorescents dimly streaming throws scant shadows all across the floor;
And my hands with sweat now sopping, reaches out for superior mopping -
Behold, PREMIRA pads for now and ever more!